ok...can whatever deity I angered stop picking on me?

Been feeling like crap for weeks. Feeling a little worse every few days. Yesterday I turned my left knee a little bit, and hurt something. My doctor said it's patellar tendonitis. (This is something I've had problems with off and on a lot of since the 1990s. I just haven't had a problem with it for about ten years or so)

So, today. Walking is really bad. I'm trying to put towels away in my linen cabinet, and my knee hurts when I'm standing, the other leg is just getting really tired.

I'm afraid to try using my exercise bike...now that it's finally put together.

Seems like anytime I try to do anything to make stuff better. It all goes to hell. I've been trying to exercise for months. Something always happens to interrupt it.

kind of feel like if I could have had that bike put together back in january when I bought, maybe I could have been using it all this time, instead of walking past it in my living room for the past four months.

I figured out by myself why my ankles are swollen. They're not actually swollen. That's all the muscle turning into fat instead.

and I'm not depressed. I'm just frustrated and annoyed. With a lot of stuff.


EDIT

my dad just scared the crap out of me. He has a pacemaker. He has asthma. He is the most doctor phobic person I've ever seen. (he's a bleeping nurse!)

He hasn't been sleeping. At all. His driving is getting so bad, I'm terrified every time I get into a car with him. He told me tonight, that when he lays down on his right side, he can't breathe. I'm telling him he has to go to the doctor, and he tells me "I have an appointment with them, it's <some date a month away>."

I was heading downstairs on our little electronic stairlift. I started hearing what sounded like screaming. My dad had laid down, and couldn't breathe. I was looking for my cellphone in my pocket, because I'm in the middle of the stairs on the "snail-lift". I was going to call my aunt. She's a cardiac care nurse. My phone was downstairs. I finally got upstairs, and talked to him. He said the screaming noise is him trying to force air in.

This is not normal. I told him he's calling his doctor tomorrow, or I am. He's getting weaker and weaker. (I'm getting weaker and weaker too, just for different reasons) He needs to be able to sleep. I think his doctors have been kind of ignoring him anyways. The hospital that he had his pacemaker put in at is going to be closing soon. I think the doctors are more interested in their moving, than in treating their patients for some reason. At least the cardiac center is giving us that impression. That hospital used to be a level 1 trauma center, but it's in a part of town where they get a lot of uninsured people in their ER. They're losing money. It's a for-profit hospital. They're closing that hospital, and moving all the doctors to another hospital in the nicer part of town. Abandoning all the people on the poor side of town. Actually it's still a level 1 trauma center. It just won't be much longer.

I'm calling my new physiatrist tomorrow, and am going to tell them I have to get hand controls for my car now. I can't wait. I need to be able to drive. My dad's driving is scaring me to death.

I called my regular doctor back this afternoon after I got home from the appointment with him. Told him to give me the PT that he suggested, because it doesn't really matter if I only have 15 PT visits left on my insurance. My crap insurance hasn't been paying for it anyways. I have to hit the insanely high deductible first. The PT that I did for my shoulder earlier this year, along with the other PT for the MS stuff that I think I wasted (the physical therapists seemed to ignore me on what I was having problems with) cost about $2000. I just paid the bill the other day. I'm going to go broke, and my parents will end up going broke when they have to start helping me because my insurance is really not affordable for me. And I can't change it to something cheaper that will cover me better, because there really isn't anything comparable to what I used to have.