Thank you so much to everyone. Just like with you hopeful, reading through your thoughtful responses brought tears to my eyes. Just knowing there are people who "get it" makes it easier to bear. I am in TX and it is actually beautiful outside hopeful so I will get out of bed and try to sit in the sun for a bit (maybe you can too Stacy). And I have never read about either of those topics Dr.Smith and will take a look when I am out of the feeling sorry for myself zone

Thanks again and I send prayers and hugs back to all of you.