i still cannot release my brain
of the whole day it began
to the place he took his life
with a gun

i left home because of his sick ways
my two sisters still lived home my
youngest sister was 9
i did not have a phone yet in
my first new apartment
i used the pay phone downstairs
my brain has its own theory
but we will never definitively
know
there was too much chaos
but i wasn't surprised
he was forty seven
the traditional foreigner
lost in the western world
and then learn the background
of my culture and their beliefs
on suicide blows me away
my birth parent to me
he was asking to see me
he wanted to speak to me
will never know
but as an adult
it was inevitable
and then to learn of my children
attempts is painful
two are doing so much better
and one suffering addiction
is not easy
my youngest withdrawn from school
is a travesty
but we will overcome the adversities
as i must help where i can
i can only guide and speak
the truth
and the word of God
we are human
we acquire if no foundation
given
we all feel
as human
as the spirit does
healing from whatever would make
one think "it" can not be left alone
and taken seriously
as a good friend
through song says
as i believe
"we just want to be saved"
Amen my friend
Amen!
may Jesus Christ
carry us in them hard time
i am just a woman living a
woman existence
have my soul to back me up
Jesus Christ my Savior
i will listen
me