Quote:
Originally Posted by toepain2013
I was a young, healthy 28 year old. I rarely got sick, worked long hours, took long hikes, ran daily, played soccer 3x a week and was notorious for having the toughest feet around (I was notorious for running / walking barefoot -- even on hot asphalt or sharp rocks -- I even went tide pooling bare footed once!).
At 28 I finally felt like everything was coming together. I had met the girl of my dreams and landed a fantastic, well paying job. I felt like a million bucks.
One ill fated night, a home intruded broke into the house I lived in with my girlfriend. After hearing the door bust down I woke up to investigate to find a large, deranged man standing in my entryway. Upon questioning him, he immediately attacked me. I defended myself and actually ended up doing much more harm to him than he did to me (he ended up with 35 stitches in the back of his head, a broken nose and a broken arm) -- but I tore my feet up real good. Luckily I was able to restrain him until the police arrived -- at least he got was he was due.
Fast forward a year later. The girl of my dreams left me as she can't handle the person I've become as a result of the pain. I no longer play soccer. I just stopped running and cross-fit in an attempt to see if things will improve. My career is falling apart, I can barely afford the medical bills from the various procedures I've tried. Basically, my hopes and dreams of becoming a husband, father and successful entrepreneur have seemingly been flushed down the toilet.
My 29th birthday is rapidly approaching. 3 months ago I told myself that if I was still in pain at 29 that I'd purchase a ticket to Sweden and have assisted suicide. That was likely the lowest point I've ever experienced. Since then I've abandoned the idea -- but I still have days when it sneaks back into my consciousness.
I still try to maintain hope. I still look at the future as an opportunity to beat this situation -- even though my insurance or doctors really think that's possible. I'll never give up though, as I'll do anything to rebuild my life as much as possible.
I have to try to revive my dreams. I have to try to be a tough, happy, successful young man again.
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The first two years were the hardest for me too, it does feel like everything is falling apart and it is. But as you learn to adapt to change your surroundings to help you it gets a lot easier and finding someone to help you through it and share daily ups and down does help.
As for your ex- ... My high school sweetheart fiancee man of my life for seven years, he did the same as your ex. Ditched me when I needed him most. That says a lot about how flawed his character was not mine. But I have found over time it was for the best, I am not who I was before and almost all my interests have changed too. If he had stuck it out with me we would be fighting all the time now for a load of reasons. but it may come down to politically I became a democrat bleeding heart liberal where as before we were gun toting repubs . and all that, that change implies about his view on women, housework and life. So I went through a metamorphosis and because he couldn't even handle the catalyst of it he left. I have days where I miss something about him still once in a while but for the most part it is good that he left. Even if it felt like **** when he did. It takes someone very strong and wonderful to be with us who have rsd, I feel blessed to finally have found one.