Originally Posted by toepain2013

I was a young, healthy 28 year old. I rarely got sick, worked long hours, took long hikes, ran daily, played soccer 3x a week and was notorious for having the toughest feet around (I was notorious for running / walking barefoot -- even on hot asphalt or sharp rocks -- I even went tide pooling bare footed once!).

At 28 I finally felt like everything was coming together. I had met the girl of my dreams and landed a fantastic, well paying job. I felt like a million bucks.

One ill fated night, a home intruded broke into the house I lived in with my girlfriend. After hearing the door bust down I woke up to investigate to find a large, deranged man standing in my entryway. Upon questioning him, he immediately attacked me. I defended myself and actually ended up doing much more harm to him than he did to me (he ended up with 35 stitches in the back of his head, a broken nose and a broken arm) -- but I tore my feet up real good. Luckily I was able to restrain him until the police arrived -- at least he got was he was due.

Fast forward a year later. The girl of my dreams left me as she can't handle the person I've become as a result of the pain. I no longer play soccer. I just stopped running and cross-fit in an attempt to see if things will improve. My career is falling apart, I can barely afford the medical bills from the various procedures I've tried. Basically, my hopes and dreams of becoming a husband, father and successful entrepreneur have seemingly been flushed down the toilet.

My 29th birthday is rapidly approaching. 3 months ago I told myself that if I was still in pain at 29 that I'd purchase a ticket to Sweden and have assisted suicide. That was likely the lowest point I've ever experienced. Since then I've abandoned the idea -- but I still have days when it sneaks back into my consciousness.

I still try to maintain hope. I still look at the future as an opportunity to beat this situation -- even though my insurance or doctors really think that's possible. I'll never give up though, as I'll do anything to rebuild my life as much as possible.

I have to try to revive my dreams. I have to try to be a tough, happy, successful young man again.