This is a really nice thread dealing with a topic in a sensible rationale manner . The fact that nobody is blindly crying out "dont do it" shows that we have all perhaps considered our own mortality at length

"The despair has changed the person I am. People can see it, sense it, feel it"

That one line for me summaries who I am and I have always said that people with Pn lead lives of quite desperation. Not a nice way to live

personally I no longer fear things related to death. for example, A sudden chest pain no longer triggers panic. My plane getting caught in an electrical storm in violent turbulence triggers a silly grin LOL.

The thing is thoughts of Suicide can bring a feeling of peace and contentment . Its a fact that a large portion of people who suicide are hugely relieved once the decision is made and probably the reason why people say " I cant believe he/she did that because they looked so happy"

But we all push on in the hope that the next few years will produce some type of cutting edge research into pain control