dear friend

so amazed am i too
yet i can be who i am
this too i understand
this may sound sad
but i'm thinking ahead
i need to wear sandals
that have straps so i do
not fall
so i found sandals
and thought to myself
these will be easy for
my kids to put them on
not wanting to be a burden
then i think jeez little Eva
and i will be so close
shoot
she walks in the door
puts her shoes in the
closet as you walk into
the apartment
ya think the adults
would remember
ya know what i mean
the everyday pain we live with
this morning for the first time
in a long i woke up nauseous
my meds are still the same
need to smoke as it helps
get rid of it
completely
what happened
my body is rotting
a little bit each day
i reached it's my pique
at fifty i am fifty three now
you write how much less of
movement allowed throwing
i still cannot get over the pain
in my fingers
how i have to push myself
ie
my daughter Christine
Eva's mommy my daughter
say to me
"mom i'm so sorry
because if my body feels
like it does now
i can't imagine how you feel"
said to her
"i always had a high tolerance
to pain"
so for that my friend
i want to say
thank you for reminding me
of
i can just BE
with pain and all
do when i can
many times
soooooo over do it
and pay for it for a
couple of days
my home is not complete yet
so i try a little at a time
and i am grateful for what's
important to me
is my family
as tiny as it is
another day of BEING

Amen my friend

love all around the world
and celebrate

BEING

God my Father hears our prayers

i BELIEVE

in Jesus name

I BELIEVE