Ya, most of my job involves shoveling raking ect. This time of the year though I usually start off by mowing grass on large and loud mowers for a little bit until our college kids arrive to help. I know I wont be able to tolerate that, as just winterizing my snowblower and hearing that run for a few minutes really hurt.

Im just in a catch 22. I really want to go back to work, but at the same time im not really convinced im a 100% yet. I did some weight lifting today, and didnt fair to well afterwords. I havent been lightheaded in about 3-4 weeks, but after that, Im extremely lightheaded now, accompanied by headaches.

I just fear that my work will think im a scumbag, especially because I keep telling them I am feeling better (which I am, just having a few issues), and think less of me. Which I do not want to happen.

Just dont know if I should fib to the dr and tell him im good to go, or tell him whats really happening. I know its counter productive to hide the issues, but I really really need to get back to work for my own sanity. Im just hoping ok, maybe I can go back, and just tough it out for a few weeks and Ill adjust. At the same time im also telling myself im setting myself up to make the situation even worse. Ugh, crossroads. Sorry for the vent.