I agree that Bobby's posts could have been taken two ways, but from a cursory glance at the forums you can see the sort of relationship that Thelma and Bobby have.

It does beg the question of 'who's definition of offensive?', which is a problem in all forums, and generally has to be shaped by the users and moderators listening to each other over a period of time.

On the sites where I do moderate, I take the time to read every single post, partially to get a feel for how member x relates to member y - it may not be possible as these forums grow, but taking a look at peoples' previous relationships isn't too hard to do.

Swift