I totally understand where you are coming from. I also admire all the folks that responded. It takes tough people to endure the RSD.

I usually take some heat for what I am about to say, and dont think I have ever posted it here.....well maybe some of it, like the hardship part. It took the casino I worked for about 1 1/2 years to finally get rid of me. after working my way up from an $8.50 an hour position to Marketing Director, just to be demoted little by little until I was back at the bottom, and then let go.

For 2 more years I tried to find work, but like Heidi, they would see me coming and say no to giving them a resume. I finally signed up for SSDI. Here comes the part I take a lot of heat for lol.

It took 5 years, and is a loooong story about what it took for me to win SSDI. Suffice to say I won big once I was awarded. Now that 5 years was with zero income, and with a wife that had never worked at a job ever. She raised 6 kids, 3 our own, and 3 my cousins/foster care.

It was tough. I got behind in everything....even rent. I turned to God, and actually told him I had no way to physically help myself, and could not worry about this anymore because it will kill me. Believe me when you re 6 months behind on rent and everything else....if you focus on it....it will nearly take your life when you are also dealing with the RSD and the loss of your old self.

Once I totally released it to him.......I didnt get kicked out of the house. I still live in the same house. The power was never shut off, and believe it or not......had internet the whole time! In fact God took care of me better then I could have done. I know it sounds like crazy talk, but turn over all the troubles to God.

If you are to work....there will be a job. If not.....there will be a way, and sometimes you just cant look at the circumstances your in, or you will faint. Just remember he is in charge if we let him be in charge.

The hardest thing was letting go, but it was the best thing I ever did. I still do that, and I am being blessed beyond imagination even to this day.