Interesting post SmilinEyes.

I was just recently backing up my computer and pictures and found some pictures from about 4 months before my injury, of me riding a horse in the rocky mountains and was startled when I didn't recognize myself.

I mean, I knew it was me, but like you described, it was like looking at a different person that no longer existed. Yes, the pictures are now 2.5 years old, but that's not THAT long ago and I've not drastically changed my appearance (not gained weight, changed my hair style or colour, etc).

But when I compare that picture to myself now, while they are similar looking, they are very different looking people... its very strange.

I also showed my husband the pictures and he immediately also noticed the difference without me saying a word, but could not really put his finger on what's different either... the only things he could come up with were "you carry yourself differently now" and "you have a different look in your eyes".

He also went onto say that no one goes through 2 years of constant pain, exhaustion and struggle without being changed somehow.

It was and is disconcerting though. I've mostly spent the last 2 years trying to survive, fight and somehow get back to where I started, I think the reality of my situation is just starting to really sink in, even though my health care team has been trying to manage my expectations from the beginning, there's still a big part of me that refuses to accept that, so seeing the pictures was a slap in the face for sure.

My thanks for posting this topic... always good to know we're not alone.

Starr