This is for everyone out there to know there are others that know what they are going through. Yes I have gotten very depressed when drs told me to my face I needed mental and drug related help. I know what's wrong now. Yes there are times I do and will break down knowing there are things I can't do with my children. But I also know there are many things I can do. I tell them several times a day I love them and nothing will ever change that. I may try to do things I know I shouldn't but I will push the limits and to hell with this disorder that tries to control me. To hell with who ever tries to stop me. I am going to fight to the very last breath in my body to make my babies happy. Sorry moderators I know there are kids on n here but I'm tired of living my life imprisoned in my home out of fear. We don't have to live like that. We need a full life just as much as anyone. We need it more than most. If we let this disorder rule us we shrivel up and that is how we end it. By suicide. If we don't let it control us yes we hurt but we are recognized as fighting. Fight for all of us by not letting this beat us. Don't prove everyone right about this being a suicide disorder. Prove that we are stronger than this. If it's only proving it by doing 1 thing different. Feed the dog or cat. Walk out on the porch. Don't become a skulker don't hide in the closet. Get out and prove this disorder doesn't own you. I went out and planted 4 trees today. Yes I sat on the ground and dug with a hand spade but I did it. I really thought those days were gone. That I could never have a garden except what someone else planted for me. I did it. I was able to get those trees in the ground and I was able to plant some herbs and seeds. I love digging planting and watching my work grow. Yes we may need help at times. Yes we have bad days and good days. I just want all of us to TRY and do something we used to love and have decided we can't do anymore because of this. I challenge everyone to do one thing you used to love doing. If it means folding 1 shirt do it. If it means getting a dog and walking it do it. The gauntlet is thrown lets see who picks it up and accepts this challenge.