Dear Allanira,

This may not be on point to your post but thought you might find it interesting under the circumstances. While I was never termed a "drug seeker" probably because I did not even want to take the drugs that they wanted to push on me, but have been thought of as nothing being wrong with me until I finally found someone that properly diagnosed my neurological problems. Now to what I think you might find interesting.

I went to the doctor today. A doc that I have known since he began his practice. We have known each other on a doctor/patient basis for about 35 years. He and I are only a very very few years apart in age. (I think 3 years). When I was describing my pain today, he said, "That sounds exactly like what I have been experiencing". He said all he seems to do lately is go to doctor appts. (Sound familiar to any one here???) We talked a bit about how HIS life is changing and how little HE can do these days by comparison. Oh, how refreshing to have a doctor old enough to be having and experiencing some of the same conditions we seek help from them for with little regard to our feelings. How ironic when the shoe is on THEIR foot.

Please do not mis-understand. This doc has ALWAYS been very good to me and has ALWAYS been attentive, caring, and helpful. I would not have stuck with him for all these years if he had not been, but many others (specialists) were not so kind and were dismissive. I just found it very refreshing to talk to a doctor that now not only had the knowledge but also the personal experience and has actually FELT the same pain.

I was afraid that I might have to seek another doctor soon since my doc was getting older (as I am) and that he would retire. He has greatly reduced the size of his practice but will continue his practice for at least another few years. Having an older doctor has just proven to me that the older ones can better relate to some of the aging pains as they are starting to have them too. He was telling me about the ortho that he was now seeing and his ortho knows of ortho pain because he has had almost every joint and bone replaced, repaired, etc.

I am going to ADD a new category to my list of personal desires in a physician. I will seek one that actually HAS my same ailment as they will KNOW how I feel, not just guess based on something he learned from a book. He will have FELT it.

I am so sorry about not only your physical pain but your emotional pain. I hope my little story of today at least made you smile for a moment. When my doc could PERSONALLY relate to my issue of today, it made me smile. NOT that I was happy he too was suffering, but that he had a REAL understanding.

Not all docs are callous but many are so please remember that YOU know the truth of how you feel. Don't let docs nor disease hold you down. Do what you can and the rest will take care of itself in time. It took years for my friends to finally believe I was really in pain. Some still don't and that is THEIR problem, not mine. We cope the best we can and that is all we can do. I am just happy to wake each day. Each day is a chance at a good one, even if it does not turn out that way, tomorrow may be the good one, and so on. You just never know when that good day is coming so I want to be here for it. Some are bad, some are not. I just want to see which it will be every day that I can.