My PM Dr is the same way. He has neuropathic pain. So he understands at least a little what we feel. I wouldn't give him up for the world. He understands why I won't get an SCS right now. With 1 boy about to be 3 yrs, and 1 that's 4 months I have to wait until they are old enough I don't have to pick them up and carry them. He said we can wait and there might be better technology by then. He isn't pushing but I'm know he would love to get one in me. Not because he gets a kickback for selling another one but because he is very sure it would help me. But not being able to lift and carry more than 10 lbs isn't a good thing. My 4 month old is over 13 lbs. So at least another 6 yrs before I could get one. I do hurt every dang day but I'm refusing to let this beat me down to where I contemplate, or even do commit suicide. No I'm not under any psychiatric treatment. My treatment besides my meds is going to the shooting range and destroying paper targets, or beating people at bingo, well and cutting out dead branches and undesirable plants around my home lol. I don't want to hurt anybody be it 2 or 4 legged, I don't have desires of hurting myself well except the scratches I get from a good days work. Also I found out if I was under the treatment of a psychologist I would have to give up my firearms. I hunt. It provides good fresh meat that isn't laden with chemicals for my family. Plus we live in the country. I use them to protect my family. From rattlesnakes, coyotes, and 2 legged predators. So giving up my firearms is a bad idea. I would rather protect and feed my family then be treated for mental health. I do talk to a pastor regularly and he helps keep me on the right track. Also my Nanny (grandmother) helps a ton. She will be 95 yrs this year. She tells me a verse in the bible and I read it. It helps keep me grounded, and teaches me more about myself. She remembers verses that she knows will help and explain my disorder in a biblical sense. If I don't understand something I ask her. She is also telling me natural ways of helping my body besides meds. Like mixing epsom salt and baking soda relieves inflammation, and calms your skin symptoms. Also peppermint oil rubbed into your joints helps relieve arthritis and joint stiffness. I'm trying to get my family away from a lot of the processed foods and going natural as much as possible. It's amazing the things that were used before we started using processed foods and meds. I hope this helps and gives people something to think about.