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Member
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Great Lakes area
Posts: 409
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Great Lakes area
Posts: 409
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Berkley,
I can't get my mind around this. I feel numbness.
My otologist and neurologist have been waiting on these results. I think they already knew. My husband already knew.
I feel like I have a force field keeping reality away from me. A refusal to accept?
I can say what's wrong. I can hear it. But it ends there.
Time. I keep thinking about time.
This can't be the outcome. I've lost so much already. My family has lost so much.
Yesterday, I remembered back in spring '13 I was trapped in my mind. I couldn't find my way out of my head, so disconnected and no longer the old me. Panic overwhelmed me and fear was ever present and in my dreams also. That incomprehensible reality was horrifying. My soul was tortured.
Whatever I have to deal with now is better than that. This feels different. Horrible, but different. If I had not healed past the point above I would have taken my life. Not now.
At some point I will survive this, like everyone else before me on here. I used to think that by 18 months my life would be healed. That when the lawsuit is over I will be healed cause you wait to settle til you're healed.
It's settled but I'm not healed. ?
Jace
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*TBI with mild to severe damage November 2012 from car crash. Stroke with hemorage & 4 clots in veins in brain Feb/Mar 2015.
*Vestibular damage, PCS, hypercusis, severe visual processing and tracking issues, short term memory loss, headaches/migraines, occipital neuralgia, cognitive issues, neurological issues, brain fog, brain fatigue when over stimulated, twitching, vertigo, neck issues, nerve issues, PTSD, personality change, Since stroke left side weakness, rage, worsening of vestibular problems, recall, speech, memory.
*Can't drive or work. Have done occupational therapy, cognitive therapy, physical therapy. Learning work arounds, and strategies to be competent in daily life. Change your attitude/perspective changes your life. As TBI survivors this is a vital part of our healing and living.
*Working on getting to know and accept the new me.
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