My doctor insists I take the breakthrough pain meds, but has agreed to change it to Oxynorm.

My GP is also angry that I decreased my antidepressant again. She upped it to 100mg and I could see no difference so dropped back to 50. My aim is to get back down to Zero. I know my chronic pain and inability to work is at the root of my depression and I know from all my reading that the body can find its way to producing seratonin again without medicinal prompting. It's been a great medication but I have noticed it, in combination with the endone just don't help me to be the person I can be.

I accept the old me will never be back, it's impossible due to the damage suffered physically, mentally and emotionally. I am 53, changes to Govt and the new budget set down will significantly affect our household. The disability pension which I had hoped I would one day (some years down the track) be eligible has tightened and physical impairment graded by % to qualify, being able to move and drive demonstrates a capacity to work and retirement age, currently 65 increased to 67 (& will further increase to 70). Every visit to the GP, physician, surgeon, pain mgt specialist, physio, and psych will incur an additional $7.00 on top of what I already pay. Every script from the pharmacy will incur an additional $7.00. Every time I have a procedure each and every doctor involved will incur a further $7.00, so blood tests, X-rays, anything that includes a Dr or specialist in their field will incur a further $7.00. The treasurer reckons as a nation we just can't be that sick so these additional $7.00 fees will be minimal to the average family. All this and much more means I have to begin now while I can to find a way through this fog and find a me that is acceptable, dare I say palatable, so that I can once again confidently don business suits and forge my way out into the working world. Someone who doesn't need to attend the doctor on a monthly basis or need medication to manage pain and get through the day, The me as I currently am has no confidence, no energy, no oomph, no personality, just a dull homebound pain ridden soul, who despairs each time she pops a pill, grits her teeth and no longer enjoys life.