Hi Bronco,

I know exactly what your talking about and I'm sorry it's that way for you. I work from home doing transcription seven days a week and while I hardly ever leave home, I also hardly ever leave work. I guess my family could be considered my co-workers. It just doesn't stop.

They can't understand, because they have only experienced it as outsiders. While sometimes it seems (to me) like they don't give a rat's ***, it's really not fair for me to make that assumption. It's like when I go to the grocery store and see a down's syndrome gentleman bagging my groceries and I notice he has a cast on his leg, I think wow, double whammy! While I feel for him, there is no way I could truly ever comprehend what a day in his shoes feels like; it isn't because I don't care, but just simply because that's not what I'm dealing with firsthand. Also on the other side of the spectrum, I don't know how it feels to be say a 15-year-old spoiled man child (my son) who barely does chores, gets everything his heart desires, makes his own rules, etc. From my point of view, his life isn't too rough at all (safe for an upcoming knee surgery on Friday). But there again, I don't really know, because I am not experiencing his life firsthand. For him, life probably can and does really suck. I remember that I hated being a teenager when I was one and all of the silly crap that went along with it. As far as adult family members and friends... It must be really hard for them to find the courage to take a deeper look into our suffering. If they really, really knew what it was like, I don't think they could cope with it. I am crying right now just thinking about what it would be like for me if I saw one of my family members or friends going through what I am going through, knowing what I know. There, I just made a pact with my creator where I will take three times the suffering to spare them all! I think if they really knew what it was like, they would really end up having thoughts from time to time such as "It would be okay if I didn't wake tomorrow." or "I wonder if 35 Vicodin would do it." or "God oh merciful God, if I have to do one more errand this week that involves leaving the house, let my car implode with only me in it and let there be no survivor." I wouldn't wish that on anybody, it sucks enough that we all have to live it.

Keep hanging in there.

Lisa