It sounds like you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off
and get back in the race. Was that Frank Sanatra..

No kidding, you need some PT to help get your strength and
mental gusto back on track. You sound defeated and sad.
I hear you and I do understand, but that defeatist attitude is
a downward slippery slope.

Praying for you to feel better soon and help to turn yourself
around.