I'm 21, and engaged to the absolutely most beautiful girl. Unfortunately she suffers from multiple chronic illnesses while I only deal with chronic pain. I feel very guilty that I am sometimes unable to tend to her needs. We were both competitive swimmers at a fairly high level when we met, and since then, we've both fallen down the Ill Hill. I also competed in triathlons, with aspirations to complete the Ironman, but my back have out too soon. I also loved to golf, it's the only thing I have in common with my distant father and now the opportunities to see him have dwindled due to my pain, and I feel AWFUL. I went to watch the local Ironman race this last weekend and could barely contain my tears, as I felt like a failure for not achieving my dream, albeit I was fairly close. All my potentials went out the window, and now I struggle with school and work because I let the guilt of needing others to help me through the day get to me. Luckily, I do have my fiancée who can relate, and we have the ultimate relationship, but there are many struggles and fears I do not make public, because I know it would only increase my guilt. I do not know yet how to fully deal with it, so I appreciate everyone's posts and opinions about the subject.