Thanks everyone so much - you are all awesome! It is great being able to share this with people who understand - I mean, it is really hard to try and explain it to my friends - they have been wonderful but at the same time they really don't understand what it's like!!!

Well. I'm pretty scared, they now think it's an RSD deterioation again which is not good - I'm not sure whether I can handle more of this - especially long term!!! I can't feel anything from my chest down (apart from pain) and have no independent movement from my chest down. It's really difficult to cope with because it feels like my life has been limited down even further. I can't even stay in the bathroom on my own and it's stupid - but it feels such a huge deal. And losing all the other stuff, it was only small stuff like being able to change my position on my own in my wheelchair, or being able to reach forward for something or sideways for something instead of being tied flat into the wheelchair.

It does show me how grateful I should be to my friends - they have all pitched in and are learning the new ways of log rolling, head tying, hoist using and harness adjustments. (I don't have a harness on my wheelchair at the moment, but every time I hit a bump - even in tilt and recline - I go flying out of my wheelchair and my head does the whole exorcist thing and my body bounces around and out of it - so my carer and some of the boys have improvised one which is helping. Also found a good use for my bandannas for tying my head to the head rest! ).

I got dropped twice more we wanted to see if my legs were doing better, so Ben picked me up and I went straight on the floor. So more bruises. Just this time he dropped me under the bed and under my wheelchair. Ooops. Ended up with most of the boys in my bedroom trying to log roll me without breaking my neck - but I suppose it did get my bedroom tidied for me (hahaha! it had all my work on the floor and because they had to get the hoist in they had to pick it up).

The exam is slightly stressful. I am not quite sure what is going to happen because I'm not sure that I will be able to sit up for the 2 hours it is going to take. I just keep comforting myself by thinking that even if I fail this completly I still will have a 2:1. Just, I would like to do well in it just to prove I can.

I'm just so frustrated - I have fought so hard this year to be normal - and to finish (I have an exam tomorrow and then term is over!) and suddenly it all goes totally pear shaped.

Thankyou all so much for your support - it means so much to me to know I am not the only person going through this. I guess i'm getting resigned to accepting whatever the RSD throws at me and trying to fight it, live with it and get my quality of life back.

However, a major achievment today was getting in the car! It took 3 rugby guys to lift me in and out but we managed it!!!! WOOHOO!! (just means when I go home at the weekend I will have to have them all come home with me or something!). I nearlly knocked myself out on the handbrake when one of them let go of me. However, it's a 4 1/2 hour drive home and I'm slightly concerned I will go insane doing that journey! oh well. It will get sorted!!

Thanks so much guys for all your love and support.

More properly after the exam.

Love

Frogga xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx