My experience a rational intelligent woman
that only time gives a person
Coming from a "highly" dysfunctional
upbringing help me as a young child
the oldest of three
How they both still come to me
as if I were momma
My youngest sister
gives me Mother's Day card
and honors me as one
She is a dedicated daughter
to to woman who birthed us
Forgive me father almighty
the ill feelings I have when I
think of her and her lies
This pain I suffer will just grow
unless a miricle
and I do believe
To have a father who checked out
by his own hands
All the ingredients that helped him
make that final decision also a slew of
ingredients
For the thought to be there as it has
for me many times in my life
Just the thought
Now depending on my mental state
Including all the ingredients mostly genetics
having a play as my family from my children
to the man that is my father is gone by his own hands
What I'm trying to say
get out
The thought process thinks they will be
BETTER without me
WRONG
all my children tried
I pray my boy reaches out
when he thinks to take his life
we we
My whole family sisters and all
have made their attempt
And to been spoken to open to
talk talk talk talk talk and talk
no matter how rational all may sound
Our mind distorted by compounded pain
piled one on top of the other
Oh how angry I am I have such
limited time when pain is doable
Till it slowly stops working
and to now be in a state inoperable
"To many things wrong"
This I already knew with my
second opinion doctor that ordered
a the meylo gram
And a third
But having to hold on to
find out it do not metastasized
and to remove that factor of
bone cancer
allows me not to beg him to
bring me home
In my case many factors
Obsession lifted
Just for today
Amen
Love to the world