I'd trade bodies with Paris Hilton, any day of the week.

I guarantee you that with her body and MY BRAINS. I'd find a cure for neuropathy. I'd become a doctor. I mean, she can go to any medical school and specialize in anything she wants.

Instead, she wastes her life on coke and partying.

Oh brother.

And now, Lindsay Lohan, another prize package. Such a shame.

Melody