I cannot seem to move forward.

All I seem to do is avoid doing the things I need to do.

I have tried being patient, scaring myself into action, acting "as if", mindfully having fun, resting, waiting for the "right" time, getting angry, getting busy, rewarding myself, withholding rewards, making rules, breaking rules.

Nothing changes. Everything changes... for the worse.

I don't know what to do. I feel despair at times, but even that doesn't get me going.

waves