Welcome, Tarie!
Everyone here is terrific and I think Chemar gave you some great tips. I support your "tough love" approach with all my heart. If your daughter chooses a life of violence (which will NOT change, no matter what he says), it is my opinion that she does not have the right to put a child in harm's way.
Before disability, I was active in rescue for abused women, and the decision to take back her life is by far the most difficult part.
I'd like to give that guy his own neurological problem (*%#%&$^%#$#@!