Amazing to read these posts as I had/have the same problems. As I have beat TOS back bit by bit through conservative means, I have been able to increase the amount of time I spend on housework from around 5 mins to 40 mins, which is enough to keep my place livable.

One trick I have always used is to get familiar with my time limit and respect it. In other words, bail out before you're going to flare up. If 20 minutes flares you up then set a timer for 15 and stop. Every few months you can test your limits to see if they have progressed.