Hi Erin
I'm so sorry that you re feeling so bad - and I don't blame you - you are perfectly entitled.
I just wanted to give you a hug -
As I read your post, lots of those dreaded 'cuss words' went through my mind - so for what it's worth, even if you are not allowed to type them, I think just about everyone who reads this will be thinking them - and thinking of you.
Much love