I am so flipping tired. And I hurt, hurt, hurt. I am trying to be positive and find a place that doesn't hurt but I haven't found it yet.

The past month has been an extreme whirlwind. Too much. Thank goodness I was able to get stable before all this crap came down.

Wes is still up and down like a yo-yo. Happy and spazy one moment and suicidal the next. He finally peed purple and got dangerously depressed day before yesterday and seems to have stablized by last night. It gets so exhausting to be on constant alert.

I talked to his pdoc last night about it and all he could say was that it's frigging weird. I laughed so hard. He wants me to really try and get a sample next time Wes has purple urine. I wouldn't know where to take it. I need to get him a new general doctor. His current one is an idiot.

sigh

My poor neighbors. I could write a novel about the stress they are going through. It just seems to keep getting harder and harder for them. I need a little break, but I can't seem to be able to let myself. If I were in their shoes, I would need help desperately.

I have gained 15 pounds on the stupid Rispedal and Lithium. None of my clothes fit and I feel SO fat. I am not. Just mildly overweight. But I FEEL huge. I am pretty ticked about it. I just have to remind myself of the alternative. Not good. So, chubby it is.

Allright. Enough whining.

Good morning to all and love to all.