Thanks for writing this. Your courage was amazing. It took me almost two years to admit it.
I go everywhere with my sunglasses and visor. I shop in them. I walk in them. I drive in them (I keep my window cracked open so I can hear). I also felt stealth and in disguise.
I gained 25 pounds in my first 18 months. I'm only now losing weight, mostly because of the topamax (I guess they use it to lose weight). The noritryptline and the isolating vertigo migraines were horrible.
I do try to go on short daily walks as it does lift my mood. Even 10 minutes will get me out of my head and my funk.
But yes--it is so easy to spiral into my pity festival. It does get easy. And remember, tomorrow is another day to try to be better.