I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it. I'm still kind of new to all of this too (7 months in) so I don't feel like I have any good advice. I do know that in the last week it has helped me immensely to come here and see that there are other people that are experiencing so many of the same things I am. I don't feel like I'm going crazy anymore and that's a relief.

I hope you find some comfort here and that you start seeing improvements in how you feel.