aww rashelle, I'm so sorry.
It all sounds awfully overwhelming for you there.
I wondered if there was some way of getting some respite? Have you ever looked into that with regard to your older son? I live in Australia so I don't know how that all works wherever you live but there might be some way of getting some respite so that you can have a little "rashelle time". Especially in light of the fact that your husband is somewhat incapacitated due to his injury. There must be some way of getting a little assistance even if it's temporary. I know what it's like not to have any support when I really needed it under different circumstances but still similar in many ways. It sounds to me as if you need some really practical help to help you get through this difficult time so that you can get strong again and back to feeling in control.

edited to add:
Maybe someone who is closer to your area might know of some type of services available, rashelle. My problem was always that I'm a very stubborn and independent person ... subborn as a mule they tell me, who would not even accept help even if it was offered. eeeek. I sure wish I had been able to find some respite though. It might have saved an awful lot of grief and overwhelm just at certain times. If there was some way to get some respite, would you take it? Sounds a silly question I know, but I'm serious about how I found it difficult to ask for help.
sending lots of thoughts your way
Keep talking.