Father
Brother
Mother Mary

As my worse fear once again
A reality
I have now begun for the first time since
My regimen was as follows

Morning no earlier than 7:00 A.M.
2 30mg
1 1mg Xanax
1 4mg zanaflex
1 20mg tamoxifen (for cancer)

Afternoon no later than 2:00 P.M.
2 5mg oxcycodone
2 4mg zanaflex
1 1mg Xanax

Evening no later than 7:00 P.M.
1 4mg zanaflex
1 30mg ocxycotin

And it is never ever abused

I also smoke a plant we are trying to pass
To help with my pins and needles most importantly
the nausea something that hurts terribley with all the
strain on my neck surgery
The plate and screws are felt
more than I would like
And I do understand they are foreign objects
They hurt at times
My back area is just a big fat mess
It hurts to the touch

This my friends are mostly about the mechanical
problems

The throbbing in joints unbearable
Wakens me to have no relief and pray
The throb stops
Some times I feel the throb like right now
fade or skip a few beats
And when that happens
My brain begs it has stopped
And then it starts
I want to scream
No working it out

Father my spirit is damaged
I know my outcome is not something
that will never get any better
And this summer is also another
indication to how the body has progressed
It has not in any way
Unfortunately my case is in my family
And until a person suffers pain 24/7
you are not qualified
they should be counting
Ones lucky stars

So now my worse fear

I will now add ONE MORE 30mg OxyContin
at my night time schedule

I pray and believe it will do the job

So reluctantly I will move forward
As there is no return

Father I pray you one day lift this pain
And heal me

Heal me sweet Father
Heal this broken heart

Watch over my struggling
family
Keep them safe from EVIL
IN JESUS NAME
I BELIEVE
AMEN!