I know that I am not of much help. I have no suggestions for you. I do understand how you feel about having to be your own advocate. Are there other doctors that can do the surgery? Do they give you a reason why? I would be searching and asking why they are backing out on there own word. I do hope that you can get the help and care that you need and find someone that will do it your way. Surely there has to be someone that will.