Hey everyone,

thanks so much for all your support, love etc it mkes this so much easier to deal with knowing that you are not alone!

Well - exams. That was fine - I finished a 2 1/2 hour exam in about 45 minutes (hey, 60 multiple choice questions!?! my A levels were harder) and I think I've done fine on them - the brain fog made it slightly hard but I fought through it.

RSD - I am still floppy from the chest/ shoulders down and still have the diminished sensation levels and the lack of movement. However, my joints are now being really stupid - they have tightned in a different way to the dystonia - with my dystonia once you learn how to undo a limb it can be stretched out a bit whereas with this it's just gone solid. How can I be solid AND floppy?! My legs are too weak to even allow me to be lifted but yet my carer can't bend or straighten them. This is all making me really upset as well because it is starting to affect my arms - yes, my RSD is already in my arms - but this is different - this is the floppy unable to move or feel things thing. Both last night and the night before I have had to try and deal with my arms just dying and stopping working. I had my arms checked out by one of my friends who is a first aider and training as a paramedic and apparently I had lost all reflex activity in my arms. It's horrific to sit there for hours willing them to work and knowing you can only move your eyes and that even if you could move that teeny bit you would be on the floor anyway.

I don't know what to do - I don't think I will be able to cope if I lose 100% in my arms - at the moment all I can really do with my arms is use my electric wheelchair, drive and hit things but losing that would be devestating to me.

I guess I just have to hope it is the ketamine and muscle reactions but it's looking more and more like the RSD deterioations I have had before. Damnit. I'm feeling abit sorry for myself at the moment because most of my friends are travelling around europe this summer - and though I was considering it it will now have to be written off and I am missing the end of year ball because I am not well enough to go and be able to sit in the car on the way home on sunday/ monday (my mates are trying to force me to go to the ball... but sometimes (very occasionally) my RSD sensible part of my brain insists on over riding everyone else with "if you really p*** the RSD off then what is going to happen?".

I guess this is my biggest fear. What's next? .....

Sorry if this is yet another frustrated email - I do try not to make them too bad - but...

all my love and thanks all!!

Frogga xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx