Oh my, I could have written your post.

Is there a support group in your area? A little face to face time, with people who understand, can make a big difference.

I hear what you're saying about relationship strain. Are there things YOU could suggest as "together" time, that you could manage? For example, a movie night at home or inviting over a couple of friends for a takeout meal?

Do you have swelling at your surgical site? My RMT has been doing lympathic drainage to reduce the fluid around my herniated discs. It builds up, again, but it does give me some relief.