thanks so much im 6.3 320 weight is hard when we cant be active

i always make my wife mad i hide it and go on errands shopping bills etc till she see or hears one of my give away woman is like a blood hound

you take my life away you will not take my activity or getting out

i have sit there and watch a shop fix my car i know how to do that

i have to beg people to help fix household stuff i know how

i dont know how much positive i have left or i can take watching my life my loves my hobby's stripped away from me

i got a porch of tools it burns to see because i cant use them

i fixed our car when shops said it couldn't be done 2 hour job turned into 5 till and into night

i was out for a week

i tore our washer apart and fixed knocked out again for days

i helped wife's parents with bad tire you guessed it out more days

days out or watch my life stripped away i will take more pain and days out

there taking everything and i cant stop i do mild exercise walk or house work

there still stealing my life

the one that if i knew how to cry i would have tried fixing tail light bulb took half hour for five min or less job

just a bloody bulb i pay cashier 3 days

then i watched my shop replace the other side in a min or so

i cant take this i cant take my hobbies my loves being taken like being robbed

i pay for what i used to do

i lost count of brake jobs i rebuilt 3 engines a clutch wiring

i was networking great with wires connectors now my hands lock like claws at times and docs dont know why

i have very sever arthritis symptoms but all test are negative

i dont eat processed food only home cooked awesome wife

i drink distilled water diet caffeine free pop once a week or less

shes diabetic so im on a diabetic diet

it all help but not as much of a difference as it does for others

vitamins v8 wont work on my body for some reason

im whining sorry its just so hard loosing my loves and being rubbed in my face as someone else does them

ok positive i can sill walk drive get out each day is what decides how much

thats it

im getting wore out loosing everything medicare wont fix my sleep machine a fight for two years involving congress rep a senator

no one can help my state took most all my medical i want to quit

i long for peace i have a few one here like you the rest just ignore me

that burns so bad but i try to get past or stop forums but i long for support contact talk or people going through the same or worse to give me a kick

you know like watching all my hobbies leave it hurts so much to got to forums

one im on 99 views no answers or they know my name and ignore

i used to fight now i just mark the wall and add another i cant to the long list

it get hard two forums in one day one said trolling when just normal posts on i upset the group with my bad skills

i can google forums and like movie or book store been there been there and on and on

and then the few in life left or played a game that cost me 4

my road seems to be telling me it supposed to be a solitary life and road i just cant except it and sneak back when i know what will happen in the end at least this disability site fights to try to not ban you thanks admins appreciated

i dont know today is a very unbearable day and my depression disorders are acting up bad

i hate whining i hate reaching out i hate sharing and opening up burned me so many times in life and the net

i dont know it been long time since i recently cam back

but i dont share the 10 or more problems all working as one

but im at a breakdown point im at a call the cops like in the past point

got swat once im ready to just tell my counselor do shrink commit and drug the crap out of me or i will do stuff to make you

i just dont know anymore my cat my wife all thats not stripped away

ar all that keep the thin line of not doing the above above