Got an appointment with my NS and I'm on the cancellation list as well. So the big day is looming and I go through a range of emotions from determination to see it through to fear and wanting to stick my head in the sand and not face up to the future. I can't help but wonder what I will hear this time but do know one thing is for sure, it is not going to be straight forward. My wonderful husband has the day off to come with me and that in itself is worrisome as his mental health is on the decline in pace with my physical health. He lives in hope to hear I'm going to get better and that drives my fear. Oh my pity pot is in for a stoking these next few weeks!

On a positive note I'm still titrating down on my meds and pleased to say I'm on 12.5 valdoxan only for nights now. I'm stopping the Lipitor (statin) tomorrow. The plan is by August 11 I will be only on 50mg pristiq (anti depressant) 2mg progynova (HRT) and 20mg OxyContin and hopefully no need for daily movicol sachets.

I'm going to ask if I go ahead with the lumbar fusion can they have a go at threading the 2nd percutaneous lead in at the same time so I can get coverage for my thoracic and sacrum region. I can't see the point in having another procedure at a later time. Wishful thinking maybe but if I don't ask I won't know the answer...