Yes, my little 7 year old is the only thing that keeps me walking and gets me out of bed. If it wasn't for her I would have given up a long time ago!

Basicly, I just don't want my treatment plan to be "take your Oxycodone and accept the fact that you are in pain". I am ok with taking pain meds to help with the pain, but I don't want that to be my goal for life. Not to mention the fact that I have to wait to long between taking them that most of the time it doesn't really work. That doctor won't listen to me about how I need to be able to take them closer together, not all the time, but I need the options sometimes. Like days like today!! Where I am having a hard time getting out of bed, I probably won't get out of bed anymore today and pray I can tomorrow!

I am not asking to be pain free. I just want to be able to lesson the pain enough that I can breath!! That I can go on a walk, clean the house would be AMAZING!!!,

I know I am doing better than most, and I am very thankful! Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to get better than this. But I can't keep going this way. If I had support, it would be different. But I have NO ONE and it is really sad. I guess I don't have the best self-esteem right now, but I am just tired of trying and asking and begging for people (loved ones) to love me and care about me. So screw them! LOL I am going to go to Seattle to some specialists and hopefully get a handle on some of this pain, get some kind of a plan or outline or something to follow. Something to give my doctors and I a guide so we are not sitting here guessing anymore. I have two wonderful, amazing doctors. My family doctor and my doctor that did my four ankle surgeries (the last one on my left ankle was the culprit that started this whole mess). I don't know what I would do without them! Even though they have no idea what to do and the Podiatrist doesn't even truly need to help me, they still stand by my side anyway and help me as much as they can! So to Dr. Ford and Dr. Thompson I give you a big THANK-YOU!!!!