Right now he can barely tolerate a part-time minimum wage job. Today, he mowed the lawn... then came inside, showered and took a 2 hour nap... got up, ate dinner... and then took another 2 hour nap.

I wish they hadn't broken up that assessment or postponed it. Had they done it one straight shot and in January like they were supposed to, I don't believe we'd be in this mess. His performance would have been much different in January, as opposed to April... and a lot different had they done it all at once. I feel so defeated knowing they should have done it at once. Feels like he was sabotaged out of the gate. They did it in 3- 4 hour sessions.

Pace and persistence is definitely an issue. He does have issues with confrontation. Although, I admit, he always has.... he's quick to anger, and of course as with the exacerbated personality issues that can come with brain injury, now he's even more so. He's actually been let go from jobs in the past for not getting along with others. Now, working with my dad, he has been there for 3 weeks and already has people he doesn't like... people he wants to pick fights with. It doesn't help that he's extremely paranoid, all the time, that someone is out to get him.

And exhibits, the best way I can put it... bad judgement. We have issues with alcohol abuse. He had a hard day one day and picked up two tall boys on his way home... then he went to his part-time job with my dad... and on the way home, he picked up a four pack of tall boys... and drank all four... that's 6 big beers in one day. Every time we were out together, if I ran into walgreens, next thing I would know, he'd have a pint of gin, rum or vodka... I can't seem to stress enough to him how bad alcohol is for his recovery. I honestly don't know what to do there. This is the one area that I feel I am at my wits end. When he first came home from the hospital, it was easier to keep him away from it. He couldn't drive, and I would just tell him no... although we had some epic fights about it that he can't even remember. I don't know what to do to get him to understand. Also, when he was in out-patient rehab, it was easier to defer those issues to the therapists. I'd tell him to talk to his therapists and they gave the green light, then he'd have my blessing.

It was the same way about driving. Lots of fights and confrontation. And paranoia. We sold our car last summer, because we had outgrown it, as a family. (We have 4 kids) My mom's car is big enough for us when we want to go anywhere, so he bought the motorcycle so that we could save on gas and insurance... and look into getting a bigger car for our family. The motorcycle is gone (thank god) ... so in order to drive again, he'd have to borrow my mom's car. She was having none of that (and rightfully so) and he was so angry over it. I kept telling him that he wasn't ready yet. That there was no way of knowing how his driving would be impaired, because a brain injury can throw off your reaction times, etc... and he was so insistent that it had nothing to do with that, that it was because my mom wanted to punish him (being punished is a huge post-injury theme that we deal with... everything feels to him like he's being punished. He was going to work when the accident happened, so he feels he is being punished for going out and providing for his family) that she just wanted to hold it over his head that he couldn't drive her "precious car." He was certain that the only way he was going to be able to drive again was to buy a car (or another motorcycle of his own) And once he is locked onto an idea, you can't get him off of it.

I was looking at the blue book terms- and here's what I am dealing with-

1. Disorientation to time and place
(this was the issue that first brought me to this board. This episode scared me so bad, that I seriously worried that he had some bleeding on the brain. He was so very disoriented. He tells me all the time that when he wakes up, he's disoriented- doesn't know what time it is, if it's day or night, or sometimes who he is... I thought he was exaggerating, until I saw it for myself.)

3. Perceptual or thinking disturbances (e.g., hallucinations, delusions);
(Continually, he will ask me to go to the bathroom with him, because he is afraid of the mirror. He says sometimes he doesn't recognize the person looking back at him)

6. Emotional lability (e.g., explosive temper outbursts, sudden crying, etc.) and impairment in impulse control
(Nevermind the alcohol issues. There are times when he doesn't want me to leave the room, and will burst into tears if I do. This was actually documented with his speech and OT therapists and was the reason that they asked his psychologist to postpone testing. In fact it was in the written report sent to the disability board... that sometimes he would burst into tears and have episodes of depression and was discharged from speech therapy only because he became insistent that it wasn't helping and wasn't challenging him, even when he was performing poorly on tests given and was resistant and incapable of dealing with change. I believe I spoke of an incident where we were out with the kids and even a change in body temperature and fatigue caused him to cry in a very public place and need to go home.)

3. Marked difficulties in maintaining concentration, persistence, or pace;
(Yeah... half hour in the sun.... napped for four hours and was in bed early tonight. Need I say more? He requires naps almost daily. Sometimes he suffers from insomnia.... and sometimes he sleeps 14 hours straight.)

1. Repeated episodes of decompensation, each of extended duration;
(We have had WEEKS were he has only left our bedroom to shower and use the bathroom. No exaggeration there, I am dead serious) Then I get him out of the room to go to the store... we go, we come back... and back up to our room he goes. In fact, he hasn't spent a day downstairs in months. When we were at home- he's in our bedroom. May come down for 15 minutes, sweep the floors, wipe the counters... and then back to the room. The only way to get him out of our bedroom is to completely remove him from the house.)

3. Current history of 1 or more years' inability to function outside a highly supportive living arrangement, with an indication of continued need for such an arrangement.
(We aren't at a year yet, but we are marching towards it.)

I'm not entirely sure what "2. A residual disease process that has resulted in such marginal adjustment that even a minimal increase in mental demands or change in the environment would be predicted to cause the individual to decompensate" means.... but if it means that a small change in brain function or demands can cause him to have episodes of depression- then check that off the list, too.

I am his security blanket... he keeps telling me that, over and over. Even in doing his part-time job, he spends 90% of the time on the phone with me. I don't mind it... I love hearing his voice, and honestly I worry more when I don't hear from him. He's working with my dad, and although my dad would never tell me this, he tells my mom that he can tell from observing my husband at work that he's in no shape to go back to work full time. His processing time is slower... he completes tasks slower... his body betrays him and he has a hard time making those connections to his hands or his feet from the brain... drops things, trips a lot. Even tests are very subjective... it's great that my husband can still tell you who wrote Sherlock Holmes, but how does that translate to the real world? Unless he is working at a library?

Plateau would be nice. When the lady at Chamberlain and Edmonds was doing the referral and appeal paperwork, she asked me if I thought he was better or worse. I said worse. When he first got home from the hospital, he was up by 9 or 10.. went downstairs and watched tv. Made an effort to help around the house... now he's retreated into his own little world. I hadn't noticed how bad it was until she asked. He was never social anyway... it's not like he had poker night with the guys and now doesn't. But he always made a marked effort to be downstairs with the kids... he was a very hands-on father... now, he sees our 4 year old once a day, and that's when she comes in to get kisses at bedtime.

I'll look into an occupational psychologist. I have to return the new client forms to the lawyer, now seeing what disability looks for, I know what terms to use with the lawyer and what information I should be discussing with him. I can highlight the issues that I mentioned above and give the lawyer a brief description on how these impairments affect my Prince Charming. Maybe the lawyer can provide me with specific direction as to what doctors to see to help prove the claim. I understand that documentation is key. But without an idea of where to start, it makes it difficult.

His initial claim was filed in mid-October, when he was still in a coma. You would have thought it would have been approved easily then. But there was a slight snafu.... the last time my husband went to get a new social security card, the person who filed the paperwork hit 6 instead of 9 in the computer and they had his birthday wrong by 3 days. We didn't find out until January. Had to get his birth certificate and sit at the social security office and have it corrected before they could even process the claim. How did we find out? I got tired of waiting for news of how his claim was going and called social security and they told me they had no record of a claim!! I about had a stroke!! As you can imagine. So sadly, we were already past the three month mark when the paperwork finally got straightened out.