Thanks Lottie. It means alot to me that you care so much. It's not an easy thing to talk about, but I just want to try to let people know how awful it is and why people do it. It's not a proud moment in my life, but it happened to me while I was suffering emotionally at the sickness and loss of my grandmother. I just hope that if anyone has bulimia that they will get help asap. You can be cured, but it takes work and self love. You also have to learn how to deal with life's tragedies in better ways. Hurting one's self isn't the answer. I hope that I helped people who have it not to be embarrassed and to get help. And I hope that people who are thinking of doing it, don't. It's not the answer to your problems. Well, thanks again for listening and caring. I didn't mean to ramble about this subject, but I sometimes feel it misunderstood like rsd is, and I wanted to explain why people do it. My mother never understood and was ashamed of me. She didn't want to help me, she just called me crazy and avoided me. She did have me see a dr, but wouldn't go in with me and didn't want to talk about it afterwards. Appearances were more important to her then helping her child overcome such a serious illness. She still calls me crazy for what I did. She will probably never understand which perplexes me because she has had clinical depression and OCD all her life and my father was an alcoholic. I know she loves me in her own way, but she can't seem to understand what I was going through and my dad who also loved me in his own way, couldn't understand either. That's okay. I've moved on. But I want people to know that they are NOT crazy for doing it and shouldn't be ashamed. It's a mental illness that needs a professional dr to help them overcome it. If you are bulimic, you can overcome it and you have to overcome it or it could kill you. Stand strong and tall and be proud of who you are and get some help from a dr. Don't give up hope, it's out there, you just have to look for it. With love, Renee.