Today, I HATED my family. I only felt contempt for them. All I wanted to do was get better and never see these people. The negative feelings and thoughts saddened me greatly. I know this is unhealthy and I will have to address this issue sooner or later regardless of getting better.

Today, I felt hopeless about getting better, because I was not sure if I could sustain genuine friendships/relationships with people after this revealing experience.

Of course in the beginning, I looked at it as a learning opportunity. I vowed to do things differently if the table were to turn. Now I feel defensive, skeptical of people. This makes me feel very sad. I don't know where/how I went wrong in my thinking. Also, I know I am taking this too far than an average person, but this is how I feel unfortunately. would appreciate your feedback.

EDIT: I posted something like this before... ugh... sorry to have started another thread.