My darkest days... they are many. But I hesitate to post what gets me through them because it sounds, trite. But know that it comes from a place of suffering, like the rest of you. Its been 2.5 years since my injury and I've had very little healing take place.
I've not had a single day, a single moment yet without excruciating head pain in those 2.5 years. Nothing touches the pain, no combination of ibuprofen or tylenol and I'm allergic to many narcotics. I've had many intolerable side effects to many drugs tried and many just haven't worked. I tell you this just so you understand that I didn't just have a bump to the head and am all better and am now saying this.
So what gets me through my darkest days... is remembering that nothing is forever. Everything always changes. The old saying "This too shall pass". So when I'm at my worst and sitting in the pit of despair, I try to remember that this isn't forever even though it seems like it. I just have to hang on and something will change.
So for now, I just keep trying to do what I can to get better and balance that with continuing to live my life (because for me, often those things seem mutually exclusive
) and move forward as best as I can, inch by inch even though it seems nearly impossible and honestly sometimes futile. But I only have one life to live and I'm not spending ALL of it sleeping in a dark room! I have things I want to do!!
And I try to find little things that make me happy... my new baby goats, while incredibly demanding and absolutely oblivious and selfish to the fact that I have a brain injury are wonderful and bring me joy, though I do wish they would not scream quite so loudly at feeding time, its brutal to my head!
But when I go out there in the morning and they are so happy to see me and I kneel down and gather them all up and give them hugs and kisses, the screaming doesn't seem quite so bad
Until they jump on me and knock me down! LOL!
I know for me, having my dogs, goats and chickens is therapeutic. Knowing I HAVE to get out of bed because they depend on me for food and water etc is important. Knowing their needs come before mine no matter what is motivating to keep the self pity to a minimum. And knowing that my dogs and goats are all good snugglers and none of them mind to have tears on them is reassuring. They don't judge as long as their bellies are full and their needs are met.
Starr