MarkNeil, i don't know you, but i second MarkinIdaho's encouragment to stop digging. You've extended kindness and help to me and to others on this forum. That matters. You matter. We all do.

two quotes/images have been helpful, in my semidark days when reason is still circling in reach:

from my sister: "The tide will not stay out forever." Having faith I'll recover fully in time to save what's important to me has been a struggle. But PCS is something you cannot strive to fix, just as striving will not make that tide reach you on the beach any sooner. The more patience & faith i bring to the waiting, the easier the process will be, and who knows, maybe it will be quicker.

"You will face many defeats but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from. how you can still come out of it." Maya Angelou