Good topic, thanks for the thoughtful replies. I do come from a religious family but that doesn't help my bad days at all. I'm happy for those who do find comfort there.

What I do that helps - me - first, I call a suicide hot line. I'm not coherent or physically able to be actually suicidal. But I find many of the hot line volunteers understand intense pain, hopelessness and disability.

The other thing that helps is when I talk to my malpractice lawyer. If there is one person that understands my anger with doctors who cause injury and don't care - it's my legal folks.