My fear is that I could be put to shame,or shamed. I fear being talked about,and things like that. I have a phobia of coming to complete ruin. My family says that they will not let that happen. I spend most of my time in my apartment these days. I seem to be exhausted all of the time.

I just had a nightmare before I came in here. I don't think that I could hurt anyone. I have self control,and don't want anyone to be hurt. I've been pushed pretty hard by some people,but I'm not aggressive. I never have been,but have trained for self defense.


I have a fear of someone,or ones breaking down my door in a home invasion,and them coming into my apartment. I have cameras looking out in different places so I can see whats going on out there day,and night. I know that sounds weird. I even have dash cams in my car. They are small,and not very apparent. Those dash cams are set to record,and are. At a later time I format them,and continue to record when I'm driving. BF