Heya

Well, I thought it would be difficult for things to get worse - it really takes some serious effort on the RSD front! But, last night it managed it.

The RSD hit my right arm so hard. I was sitting there and my arm started twisting from the shoulder and then subluxed all my joints. Apparently my arm twisted to such a degree that my arm had twisted 270 degrees, my knuckles were flat on the top of my wrist, my thumb dislocated as did my little finger and my shoulder and my elbow hyperextended back.

The only management thing we have found is lots of muscle relaxents and alcohol mixed together along with keeping alot of pressure on the joints to try and keep them in place until the spasms calm down. Keeping pressure on the joints and stopping the spasms from doing any mega damage sounds easy - but even with Ben (a very strong rugby player) and Becka they couldn't fight my hand because the muscles had just gone like rock (but yet I am too weak to lift my arms? this makes no sense to me?!). (So imagine a scene of me flat in bed with the cotbars down whilst Ben and Becka stand over the bed with Becka putting all her weight down through the shoulder joint, whilst Ben stands further down the bed and tries to stop my wrist from breaking and then has to drop the wrist because my neck twisted so badly.)

Bad enough? ..... obviously not! I took aload of diazipam (40mg), baclofen (60mg) and my other meds etc to try and help relax that side - but it didn't work as I started fitting (even when I started taking all my tablets with alot of neat gin it still didn't stop the spasms). Apparently I was alternating fitting (full on entire body jerking with my whole body shaking) with passing out (apparently I would go grey, get "the look" and then pass out with pain, losing consciousness for a couple of minutes, coming back to consciousness then passing out again for a couple of minutes etc - apparently this continued for about 6 hours.)

It ended up with us ordering an indian take away because Becks and Ben decided they had used up about 1 million calories holding me down and decided to try strapping my arm to my chest - and 3 or more scarves later and some parcel tape they had wrapped my arm around and put my spinal brace on but even then you could see the shoulder joint trying to break my clavicle so started some "alternative" medicine (The uni security guards caught us - but one look at my face and my arm and they all went grey and said they wouldn't report us --> normally just having the smell on you is bad enough to have you reported by security - I must have looked pretty dreadful last night!).

Anyway after all that fun, a massive attack of the munchies (and realisation that I had no food and being vegan couldn't really go and steal anyone elses) and ended up eating Haribo which is the worst thing EVER!

Well, this morning my entire right arm, shoulder and my neck are all covered in deep bruises and swelling and lumps and it has completly died and REALLY REALLY REALLY hurts - but at least now we have managed to procure a decent set of slings for locking it across my body. The spasms are still there but have calmed down alittle bit as long as the arm is locked really hard across my chest, but.. I still have a dislocated thumb and a very worrying lump on my clavicle which I think I might have broken last night as it is definetly not right!.

It hurt so much I really really thought I was going to die from pain.

Artist: thanks hun!!, you are so right - it is the spoons thing. I think I may have used up about a month of my holiday spoons already and am about to use another months worth to get home!! It was quite funny as I was up all night in pain anyway so got the gossip as they came back.... LOL... (and being drunk they all forgot what they told me)..

Molly mcn: Thanks!! I did manage to prove mum wrong! woo!

Rogue: Thanks!! I am feeling abit better about missing it - apparently the access was horrendous so I wouldn't have had fun if I had gone and to be honest it was only a chance to hang out with my friends - and so what I don't get to wear a dress this year - I'll just make Dunk take me to the snowball at christmas!

LinMarie: Thanks!! There is no way that I will ever give up uni - as you say I could have deterioated anyway and it's just because i've been away from home it is going to be more noticeable. Uni is one of the main things that keeps me going and stops me from getting depressed because I love the work and it keeps me focused on that and not on pain and RSD (well, some of the time anyway!).

Thankyou everyone so much for being there for me!

Love ya

Froggsy xxxxxxxxxx