Brokenfriend,

you are a good man. I have read many of your posts.

I am not suicidal but I am not afraid of not existing.

I think I am too tired to fight anymore or seek redemption.

and with my weight, other health factors, and my vices, I think that day is not to far and maybe for the best.

But then who knows? human bodies seem to be able to take a beating and keep going.

And if there is a God, I guess he will do what he must when I die.

you area good man for caring. I see your goodness in all of your posts.