this brain injury can be a nightmare as is TOS, parkinsons, RSD, Bipolar and all the other sicknesses on this board.

Last night i took xanax, advil pm, ambien and vicoden and downed them with some Jack Daniels. It took away all the mental and physical pain for a few hours but i know it was dangerous. but i didn't care anymore. just wanted relief.

i think having bp2 on top of the multiple brain injuries doesn't help. not being able to work sucks as i was a workaholic and loved seeing my bank account et bigger. now it is empty. my girlfriend takes care of me and i am on disability. what kind of a man is that.

i have even had my own brother call me a complete and utter disgrace and a bum living off the governement. words i will never forget. i t ook an 80 percent pay cut getting ssdi. why would i do that if i wasn't sick?

ans how will i survive in the future? what if y girlfriend leaves me. i wouldn't blame her but then i am basically in the street. and the constat physical and mental pain. it makes death not look half bad.

my friends have abadoned me and i never hear from family so who exactly in my case am i going to hurt killing myself? my girlfriend she'd be better off.

i called suiide hotlne before but you guys are better tan them lol. i am not suicidal right now.

i dont know...i get scared