Quote:
Originally Posted by markneil1212
this brain injury can be a nightmare as is TOS, parkinsons, RSD, Bipolar and all the other sicknesses on this board.
Last night i took xanax, advil pm, ambien and vicoden and downed them with some Jack Daniels. It took away all the mental and physical pain for a few hours but i know it was dangerous. but i didn't care anymore. just wanted relief.
i think having bp2 on top of the multiple brain injuries doesn't help. not being able to work sucks as i was a workaholic and loved seeing my bank account et bigger. now it is empty. my girlfriend takes care of me and i am on disability. what kind of a man is that.
i have even had my own brother call me a complete and utter disgrace and a bum living off the governement. words i will never forget. i t ook an 80 percent pay cut getting ssdi. why would i do that if i wasn't sick?
ans how will i survive in the future? what if y girlfriend leaves me. i wouldn't blame her but then i am basically in the street. and the constat physical and mental pain. it makes death not look half bad.
my friends have abadoned me and i never hear from family so who exactly in my case am i going to hurt killing myself? my girlfriend she'd be better off.
i called suiide hotlne before but you guys are better tan them lol. i am not suicidal right now.
i dont know...i get scared
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Mark,
I assume you would not want your girlfriend to leave you; but give her a reason to stay. Taking all the drugs and Jack Daniels could not be much of an evening for her to want to be with you.
Believe me; I myself have had those thoughts; sometimes a bit scary; but each day I try to give my husband to smile about; maybe enjoy watching a movie on tv; just something for him to have a little enjoyment in his life.
Can't think only of myself. My life is not the only one that changed; No more vacations, nice diners out, so many things we enjoyed together; now lucky if I can get thru a fast dinner restaurant and get home soon; because along with the 24/7 PM pain (on Oxycontin, etc.) I have had rectal cancer almost two years ago (rectum removed; afraid to be too far from my own toilet).
Please; don't be a "jerk" with her. Help her to want to be with you.
Because I care,
Gerry