To ALL patients:

I was just reading a thread by angell titled WORDS with my neurodoc on the MG forum. Interesting matter which has led me to start this thread.

Physicians come in all different "flavors". Each has his/her own personality and approach with patients. Some have fantastic bedside manners and others seem to have the worst dispositions you may ever encounter.

But the flip side is, we as patients, also come in all different flavors with various personalities, conditions, etc.

Part of the problem we encounter is finding the correct "match" between physician and patient, and also the most competent for our health issues.

But that is not the point of this thread. Communication between doctor and patient is vital to successful treatment and that is a BIG failing a lot of times.

I have personally felt a lack of "talking" time with a doc on occasion. We go to the doctor with our "symptoms" (before diagnosis). We get an exam, tests are sometimes ordered, some communication happens but many times we don't get answers at that visit. That is understandable if the doctor needs test results in order to make a diagnosis.

Results come in and we either get them at a follow-up appt. or on the phone. Again, we are somewhat compromised on getting answers to our questions as we are trying to adjust to whatever we were just told. We have not had the time to formulate all of our questions much less have answers we seek. Ever be driving home from an appt. with questions swirling in your head that you wished you had asked if you had thought of it during the appt.?

So many times I wish I could just go back to my doctor a week or so later and just TALK. I don't need another exam. I just want some face to face talk time for asking all of my questions. Discussing all the options. Explanations. More detail. More understanding. Making sure the doctor and I are on the same page. Has he/she understood me? Have I understood them?

I guess they would call that a "consultation" but it has been MY personal experience that we don't get that. The question is WHY NOT? Time constraints are one of the reasons, sometimes self imposed by doctors upon themselves so that they can see a greater quantity of patients and thereby forsaking the desired "quality" time with patients. Cost is another factor. It does not matter if we are self-pay (cash) patients, insured patients, or whatever. The doctor should be paid for the time to sit and consult with us by someone and no one is willing to pay for such a "luxury" as spending enough time with patients to answer all their questions or explain everything they need or should know.

Beyond time and cost limitations, then we have the "personality" of the doctor to contend with and be subjected to as in angell's case. Do we or should we have to "walk on eggs" not to offend the ego of the doc by asking questions or just requesting that they "listen"? If they want respect from us, then it is a two-sided coin and we should also get respect from them.

In younger years and to some extent now, I have held my tongue if for NO other reason than the doc is the guy/gal with MY life and well being in their hands. If you have any sense that you want to stick with a particular doctor for whatever reason, (their skill level, insurance constraints, etc.) you sure do not want to tick them off. We don't want to "rock the boat".

So finally after all my rambling, I am at the point of the thread.

How does one communicate with a doctor?
Do we speak up as angell did?
Do we bit our tongue?
How does one deal with a doctor that has an ego problem?
How do we get answers under time and cost constraints?
How can we avoid the "egg walk"?
Do we need to be well-versed in the art of psychology to be able to stroke their ego while we try to get our needs met?

I am not always very tactful (understatement) so it is difficult when the personalities of doctor and patient do not match up.

Would love to hear various viewpoints from members on the art of talking with your doctor and also on how to get enough time for answers.

The doctor/patient relationship can be a fantastic one or train wreck and all things along the spectrum. How should we as patients deal with it?