hello Hopeless.

Yes, this is an interesting and also very important issue to us patients. And, thank you for opening this discussion.

This is how I look at t:

First, we have to choose our doctors. Depending on the unfortunate condition of symptoms, diagnosed or undiagnosed. We usually have a lot of unanswered questions, and sometimes we may feel fearful.

It is important to have a good reliable PCP who get to know us over time. The PCP need to be updated on all our specialist appointments etc. ( for patients who have PPO or similar and do not need PCP referral) The PCP is the one that can be called upon to get a quick Health History.
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It is difficult now a days to choose a specialist in the whatever specialty one might need. This is because each specialty whiten the medical profession now has subspecialties. Example, they might only specialize and treat patient with one particular disease.
And, if you are on your own, how would you know what disease you have (sometimes we might have an idea, and already kind of know) Sometimes this is where the PCP comes in and hopefully guide you to the right kind of specialist.

Enough of choosing doctors, but what I am coming to is:
When you have chosen a doctor to see for what ever reason, it may take you a couple of visits before you really know if this doctor is someone that will be beneficial for your healthcare needs.
To choose a doctor, I think it is important to look at the doctor's history, credentials and expertise. If I feel that this doctor would benefit my healthcare needs, then I learn that doctors style of working and communicating with the patient.
I pay close attention to this, then I try to accommodate him with my own communication so that we have a working relationship. After all, it is my own health and life at stake.

This being said, I will emphasize that it is extremely important that we all as patients try to learn as much as possible about our health conditions or diseases at all time. We must seek information.
And if we find that a particular doctor is not willing to help us as we think he/she should, we must , as you said Hopeless, "leave them behind in the dust"

I have also, as you Hopeless, had a few of "them" useless doctors.
And sometimes it makes me very angry, and it is difficult to just let the whole thing go, and go forward
I have also been lucky and I have some that knows me well, and that works with me and really helps me.
So when we have doctors like that, I think it is helpful to us that we try to "bear with them" in a way, and let them do the work in their style. We do not want to loose a good doctor.
I have 2 doctors that I always say, " saved my life", and to me, "they can do no wrong", sort of say.

Let me tell about the way my doctor/patient working/communication relationship are with these two doctors:
no1 My neurologist. I have come to know him, and he knows me for quite some time. He is very careful and fallow guidelines in his work.
He is a general neurologist as well as a interventional neurologist.
He has sent me to other neurologist in special cases such as neuro of neuropathy who did all my nerve testings, and to MS doctors. So he does all he can, he orders all kinds of diagnostic tests, so he does all he can. So, for tees reasons, I have dicided to stay with him.

This is my patient/doctor working/communication style with this doctor:

It was the doctor who asked me to do it like this, I think it was because he finds that I am a little complicated, and have many different issues and symptoms.
On my computer I have sorted out my medical history like this: I have a revolving list with dates of each doctors visits, all diagnostic tests, lab tests etc. I just simply add the results of diagnostic test shortly. So each time I have a test etc, I just keep adding.
I have a list of problems, issues and symptoms. I date them, and update when needed.
I have copied the lab sheets from this site called :Liza Jane"s chart. Here I try to input all my lab results etc.
The same goes with my medication list. I have a printed updated list every time.
So when I go to the doctor I just print up a copy of all thes updates and hand them to the medical assistant/nurse or whoever is office assisting the doctor.
She gives it to him, he loos over it all, and then he sits and goes over every single issue I have that is active at the time.

This is working out well for me. At the same time, I sort of have a proof of that these issues were discussed, I had them written up and given to doctor.

no2) my ophthalmologist. I will forever be thankful to him when he absolutely insisted that I have an MRI of head/brain back 3 years, and incidental had aneurysm diagnosed. He is extremely particular about all his work. He has a very particular way of conducting the office visit with his patient.
He always is very "matter of fact" and short in his communication, and stay to the important details. First he has his different technicians doing their different tests on me. So when he comes to se me, he sort of really concentrates on the test results, compare to previous, looks at numbers, make calculations etc, before he discuss things. I have learned just to sit still and let him do his things. Then the doctor ask health questions. Then he makes his remarks and disisions, and we discuss. I then have time to ask questions.

So, to say if briefly, I think we come to know the doctors that are good, and we try to hang on to them and find a way of working with them.

This was all my positive issues when it comes to patient/doctor working relationship.
I have plenty of negative too.
I have seen doctors that have lied in their medical notes. I have seen doctors that have totally misdiagnosed me, due to his wish to having me fit in to the criteria for which procedure he wanted to "sell".

I have had doctors put me in danger due to negligence,
And I guess, those are the one that probably should be discussed. Because we need to improve on things.
All this I have sort at first gotten angry for the wasted time and money I spent, then I have disregarded it.
This was just my thoughts.
Stay well.
Thanks for reading